The Best Birthday Present Ever

This is me.  And today is my 67th birthday.  Wow.  It’s funny, I don’t feel this age.  I feel like I stayed at around 42 maybe.  But I am embracing my age, all that I have learned, my past mistakes and the healing.  Even allowing my hair to be what it is at this stage of my life!  Accepting the beautiful gray.

I feel blessed as a woman, mother, wife, friend and in all the roles I have played and continue to play as Savina.

But my most precious blessing is the awareness of who and what I truly am.  Finally, the veil has begun to lift.  I give thanks to my Father, my Creator, for never giving up on me.  All through these years I’ve been “searching” for what I already had and have.  God provided me the way to realize I am Awareness, infinite, love, light, and revealed that I have a purpose He has given me.  This is the best birthday present ever!!!  I was lost, insane, blind, asleep.  I am truly happy to be where I’m at today.  Healing.

When I turned 60, I had an aha moment.  I realized I had less time left on earth than what I had already lived, and I decided I really wanted to know myself, honestly, faults and all.  With all the ups and downs, mistakes, and even fears, I’m still on the path.  It feels as if there’s an acceleration to it.  As if I’m “knowing” more in a short time than I did in the past decades.  

I am thankful for all the teachers along the way.  Books, webinars, courses, my husband, my children, parents, friends.  All of them have played a part in the mind healing.  

I’m not done yet.  For sure.  But I’m 100% in!!!  I want to make these coming years worthwhile!  

A New Meditation Practice

For some time I've wanted to learn meditation as a way of connecting with my true being and reaching a place within of stillness and peace.  In the past I've sat in stillness reaching up to 25 minutes, and it's been helpful, but not as effective.  Recently I found on YouTube a lovely 3-part video on Samadhi, and on their website guided meditations focused on the breath.  

https://awakentheworld.com/meditation/1-breath-as-the-bridge/

Bingo.  This feels right.  The last two weeks I've practiced almost daily, getting into this new habit. These meditations go on for an hour of sitting and focusing on the breath, they are mostly silent with minimal guidance from the narrator.  So far I've been able to meditate for 54 minutes.  It feels empowering, refreshing and revealing

It's not as easy as it sounds.  I discover how active and resistant my mind is to being focused, present and aware.  My mind constantly wanders off into planning, remembering, worries, you name it.  But the practice is returning to my breath. Concentrate on it.  Surrender.  Over and over, bit by bit.  

It helps me to remember I am creating a new habit, one that I want more than anything.  Being present.  Aware.  Aligned.  And bring this awareness to all other parts of my life.  Being while I've doing.