The Way Back to God is to Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the central idea and message of A Course in Miracles.  I have been reading the book, practicing its principles bit by bit for the last 12 years.  Forgiveness as the Course teaches it has been a challenge for me to understand and apply. 

Forgiveness is defined as follows:  "FORGIVENESS RECOGNIZES WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOUR BROTHER DID TO YOU HAS NOT OCCURRED.  IT DOES NOT PARDON SINS AND MAKE THEM REAL.  IT SEES THERE WAS NO SIN."

And sin is defined as a false idea about God's creation. 

In order for me to really understand its meaning, I had to write down this definition and read it repeatedly, and really take it in. I asked Spirit to help me practice this, for it's completely different to what I've always believed forgiveness to be. 

Forgiveness to me was about me being a victim of someone or something. It was the belief that someone had done something bad to me, and by forgiving, I was pardoning them.   But this still made them guilty and what they did real. 

According to the Course, only illusions (what is not truth) is what needs to be forgiven.  To make it simple, this world is not real, it is an illusion made up and experienced because we believe (at a subconscious level) that we are separate from our Creator.  Most of what we perceive is really coming from our own minds, our beliefs and what we hold as true. 

When I began to really apply this new way of seeing the world, as a dream, and seeing myself and others as innocent (over and over....it's a practice), the sense of being a victim and making others bad started to loosen. I feel more compassion and am not as swift to judge anymore, as I used to. 

To be honest, I still read the definition of forgiveness to remind me of its true meaning because I still forget and fall back to thinking someone is guilty of what I believe they have done to me.  And, since my desire and only real goal is to return to God, and forgiveness is the way my mind returns Home, I'm all in with this!!! 

PROCESSING MY EMOTIONS TO REACH A STATE OF FORGIVENESS

As a Senior Coach of YOU University, I have the privilege of going through program for a second time after graduating 9 years ago.

I am at a different emotional and spiritual place at this time. Still, some deep stuff has surfaced as I do the YOU University exercises (coupled with my awareness and practice of A Course in Miracles spiritual principles).

YOU University defines FORGIVENESS as: "To Give Love As Before", whereas the Course defines FORGIVENESS as: "Forgiveness recognizes what I thought my brother did to me has not occurred." Basically, both agree that it's about seeing and extending love, not judgment nor condemnation. As I visited the past and wrote love letters to my ex-husband, I found such a block to forgiving him. I recognized I was still stuck in the past, holding him guilty of his sexual, emotional and physical abuse during our marriage.

Feelings of anger and hate surfaced as I wrote a love letter to him. How could he pass away (last November) without making amends to me and our children? How could he never take responsibility for all that he did?

I cried as I processed my feelings through the letter steps, realizing that as long as I held him in that place of unforgiveness, I was also holding myself guilty, since I participated in that situation.

So I sat with this. I asked Spirit to help me get past this and be able to return to love (for him and myself). But, how could I see him as innocent? I felt Spirit gently remind me that all that was required of me was to be willing and Spirit would do the rest.

I wrote another love letter to him....this time I felt a sense of peace and understanding towards him. A much, much better place to be. I am willing to choose to see this all differently.....with Spirit's Help.