What I Really Want

Over and over I have been taught that I need to know what I want in order to reach my goals and fulfill my dreams.

Well, I'm not sure why, but I've never really known what it is that I want to do. I do believe there are some people who are very defined in their passions, but honestly, I'm not one of them.  Not in the worldly sense at least.

Since an early age, I had a natural inclination to teaching, motivating, helping others.  I was extremely curious about life, God, spirituality in general, and how we humans fit into the whole equation.  This still remains true.  

I remember in high school I wanted to be a psychologist , a policewoman, a flight attendant, but I didn't follow any of those paths. My life just turned out differently.

As a teen, I always wanted to have 3 children. By my 20th birthday, I was married, and in the next few years I became the mother of 3 wonderful children.  I can say that this has been a wonderful and fulfilling experience.

Other than that, now at 62, I still can't say I know what I want.  I've come to know what I don't want. The sense of confinement, being boxed in and having to conform definitely do not resonate with me. After almost 40 years of working in corporations as an Administrative Professional, I know what that's like.

Lesson #24 of A Course in Miracles is titled:  I Do Not Perceive My Best Own Best Interests, and it's about this.  I don't really know what is the best path for me, I don't really know what would make me happy in any given situation.  I have no real guide to appropriate action, only what is determined by my perception.  As a Minister and Life Coach, I know that as I connect with others, help them remove the blocks in their minds that keep them stuck and in fear.....I also help myself.

More than ever, my practice and goal now is to ALLOW God through my Higher Self to show me the way.  As a teacher of God, I need to trust that I am being guided, lovingly, step by step, to what is in my best interest in each situation.  I want this.  It's peaceful, it feels secure, and it allows me to deepen my relationship with God and myself.  This is all that I know that I really want.