FUN!

I've had a few synchronous messages the past few days related to having fun, and laughter.  I've been rediscovering myself for the past few years and one of the things I'm reminded of is to learn to have fun again.  I somehow lost that in adulthood and all the self-created drama in my life.  Today, I stopped to think, what do I have FUN doing?  I went back in memory to my childhood and started to feel what was fun for me then.  I would love to run and play outside with friends, roller skate, play tag, oh, and I'd love to go to the beach...I have loved the water always (I'm a Pisces)!  In grade school I'd get lost in art class with the pastels and paints.  In Jr High I was fabulous at yoga and enjoyed it.  I loved singing in the school choir.  Dancing?  Awesome!  I loved the movies.  I still love all these things because it felt so good thinking of them and feeling the feelings. 
So, I understand that I'm missing out on having fun, today!  Fun is such an important part of Life!  Yes!  Some, if not all, of these things I can do again (well.....maybe not play tag); but I can go more to the movies, go swimming at the pool in my apt complex, the beach (I live in Miami, hello), take an art class.  I believe I'll do this, these; a few months ago, I went out of my comfort zone and joined a women's-only gym.  OMG, it is so much fun.  Yes, it's fun....it's challenging, but I enjoy the music, the unison of all of us moving all at once.  Seriously, I intend to have more fun!!

Child Abuse: Healing the Past

My mentor and I were having a phone conversation a few days ago and we touched on the subject of child abuse and molestation. 
I believe there's a part of our emotional self that remains at the age we were molested or abused, until somewhere in our lives we decide to heal that part of us.  We somehow continue reenacting these unresolved issues in our relationships with other people.
It's unfortunate that many people go through their lives, all the way into adulthood and many even into old age, never telling anyone or even themselves that they carry this pain around.  They suffer and many times create suffering for those they love because of unresolved childhood issues.
It takes a lot of self love and courage to do this work; we need to lovingly face our shame and release any guilt we may hold (from the false belief that we were responsible for the abuse). 
Some may acknowledge that they've been abused and go through life blaming and accusing the one who did this to them.  They are filled with resentment, anger and frustration.  These may then turn into depression and anxiety.  But they don't take the step further to free themselves of these toxic feelings.  Forgiving ourselves and the molester or abuser is an important step in healing.

Once we decide we want to heal, it's best to experience this process with the support of a counselor or a life coach.  It can be extremely scary to go back to that event in our lives, and we may want someone to hold our emotional space while we go through this.  But the rewards are priceless. 

Stillness

Decision-making has always been a struggle for me. Taking risks has been scary. It takes me forever to decide what's in my best interest, especially when it's related to life-changing issues such as selling a property, changing jobs, or marketing myself to attract clients and offer my services.

This inner resistance to moving forward into unknown territory has awakened my curiosity to find out what it is at my core that paralizes me.

I'm pretty sure many others go through this whole feeling-stuck experience. But, where does it stem from?

Through self-awareness I’ve discovered it’s linked to self-doubt; self-doubt generated from my constant mind chatter telling me “you can't do this, you don't know enough of that, people are going to realize you're a fake”. At the core? Old negative beliefs I’ve dragged for way too long.

Practicing stillness and asking my Self  (that part of me that is connected to All Wisdom) has helped me tremendously.  When I ask......What feels best to ME? What feels peaceful?  And wait.....I actually receive Guidance.  I find the answers are really inside of me.  It feels peaceful, right for me.  The old beliefs start to fade away as I embrace the truth about myself.  

Taking time to be still and listen has been key to moving forward and to learning to have a new trust in myself.  I believe this takes courage and practice.  It's a shift from self-doubt to self-trust. 

Valentine's Day....all about LOVE

Valentine's Day approaches and many may feel miserable because they are alone at this time, because they don't have someone to share the holiday with. I am grateful I don't feel this way anymore.

As I read today's A Course In Miracles lesson, which is about God's gifts of peace and joy to me, I truly am overjoyed at this in-love feeling I've discovered inside of me.

I have become aware I have God's Love with me all of the time, wherever I go and whatever I do. It's not conditioned to my behavior or my accomplishments. God gives His gifts to me freely. I don't feel the need anymore to have to "have" someone. When and if that person shows up, it will be a wonderful experience. I will have attracted that experience from a place of well-being, inner peace, joy....not neediness or fear.

I pay tribute to my relationship with God today. I say I am in love with the process of getting to know myself, my true Self. And even getting to know my old self, the one that's been governing my life for so long. It's all good and it's all learning. And it's all about LOVE.