New Year Resolutions?

This is my last blog for 2010....more to come in 2011.  I will continue to share here the lessons I learn about my Self and Life with all who are interested and drawn to this blog.

Whenever there's a new year approaching, our energy gets invested in making resolutions, and that's just great.  Life is an ongoing process of evolution, growth and change.
I believe New Year goals and resolutions are important and help us focus and take steps in the direction we feel our life needs to progress. 
I already thought about my own (resolutions), and even wrote them down in my new agenda for the coming year.  Unlike many of my hi-techie fellow humans, I prefer my hard copy agenda vs. an electronic one. 
This year, my list is pretty short.  I'm not intending to DO alot.  My intention is to BECOME more of my Self.  I intend to learn to get in touch with as many of those feelings I have been avoiding most of my life.  So, I resolve to:

• be more Aware of what's going on inside of me
• pay more Attention to the Now
• meditate more and sit with myself and my feelings/thoughts
• practice and learn to be with Life just as it is, to the best of my capacity.  This will entail less complaining, judging and escaping.

Besides all of the above, my list has a few more items.....painting classes, register in a two-year ministry program...not much more than that.  If I create too much activity (doing) then I will drift away from experiencing the right Now!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

In God There is No Lack

A prayer on behalf of all people willing to work:
Dear God, as your children, we trust You are our true Provider….all our needs are met in and through You.  It is not from an employer/spouse or any other source that we trust our provision to come from.
We are here with our God-given talents, skills and willingness to work.  We are productive and dignified beings.  We are the Light of the world.  We do our part and You do Yours. 
We will not believe what the world out there says: 

• there is lack, or 
• you have no credentials, or 
• you are overqualified, or 
• you are under-qualified,

we affirm:  we are whole in You.  Somewhere our unique talents and abilities are needed and valued.  We are not at the expense of unappreciative employers/clients…we are in Your hands, Father.  We trust you guide us to our greatest good!!!  We affirm: THERE IS NO LACK!!  WE ARE WHOLE IN YOU!!!  And so it is!!

How I Perceive the World

As I learn to apply the principles of A Course in Miracles to my daily life, and moment to moment, I start to understand many small details of my life today.
I see how much I played the victim.  How much I've complained about past jobs, relationships, situations.
As I walk on my own personal path and am willing to see within, to work with who I've been, where I come from, I understand I am where I am as a result of how I thought in the past.  And even so, God is benevolent with me.  It's not all bad, I have not been all complaining either.
It's important for me to take this time today to apply new thought patterns, to work at seeing myself as I truly am, a son of God.  It's been a mind blower to read and read and read over and over that the world I see has been created by my thoughts and perceptions.  This is a totally opposite concept from anything I have ever learned before.  My parents didn't know that, my teachers never taught me this.  I never heard this in church.  Maybe the bible teaches it, but I was not taught to see myself or the world this way.
I also realize I have a blessed and huge responsibility.  As I shift my thoughts and so my perception of the world, it is only natural that I interact with my world and the people in it from a new place.  A place of Love, of Light, of forgiveness.  This might just be how we go about changing the world. 

Job Searching @ 55?

Job searching in today's world is an experience.  It's even more so at 55!!  I so realize how much I'm changing as I mature.
When I faced the reality that it was time to look for work, it felt unpleasant.  It was a process I did not want to go through.  I feel that by now I have proven myself as a career woman after 30 years of working experience.  To have to start all over has not been something easily digested by me.
Ok, so, let the applying on line begin.
After numerous email responses from HR computers from companies responding that they found a candidate that better fits the position's qualifications, I get calls from a few recruiters, and a few companies.
Interviewing.  Gotta study the company.  Make sure I have a professional demeanor.  Stay positive.  Know the right answers and the right questions.
The questions:  what is your greatest strength?  What is your weakness?  Describe a day in your previous job.  How many words do you type?  Tell me about yourself.  Why did you leave this job?  And that job?
With each interview I go to, I get the impression that the whole corporate world is really for young workers.  These are some of the words that describe today's world:  Go-getters, multi-tasking, fast-paced environments, willingness to work overtime, constant change.  I get stressed just from reading that.   This is what I bring:  mindfulness, wisdom, balance, 30 years of experience, and much more.  Maybe I don't fit anymore.  
It's been an experience of growth for me.  I have gone from "I don't want to do this anymore" to "God, you guide me.  Show me what lessons I need to learn from this whole process.  You know my talents and skills and where I can be of service.  Please take me there."
Choosing on a day to day basis to trust God and believe He's present in each step has eased my apprehension in the whole process.   I know what feels right for me, He knows and sees the bigger picture.  Together we can make some good happen here.

Life Coaching is a Vocation

I am a Life Coach by vocation.  What does that mean?  That I coach naturally.

• When at work it's so natural and easy for me to train others, to explain to them new procedures, and to encourage my coworkers when they feel they've made a mistake.
• At my spiritual community:  as a volunteer woman's counselor, I've used my natural God-given gifts to connect at the soul level to understand their experience as best I can. When it's time to speak, I allow the words to come from a place of love and objectivity.
• Friends.  My friends come to me for non-judgmental support.  I hear them, I really listen, and do my best to understand their feelings and issues.  When I speak, I always try to do it from that same place of unconditional love that I mention above, trying to see things from a higher perspective.

So, even though right at this moment I am not immersed in a coaching practice, I know wherever I go, wherever God sends me, I will bring all that I've learned to be light and to support, motivate and empower those I come into contact with.

It's Ok To Want More

 

I have a dear friend named Esther.  She's had it tough most of her adult life.  Divorced with two small children, she had to financially scrape to raise them, supporting her household on a tight salary.  Her children's father never contributed with child support....or support of any kind for that matter. 
At one point of our time together as friends many years go, I was also recently divorced and struggling with selling the house I had lived in for 17 years with my ex.  I desired to move on and into an apartment. Start fresh!!   I had never sold a house, especially on my own.  Big decisions.  So, I was talking with her about this challenge and how I wanted to make the best decision.  There were many "what ifs" involved for me. 
I will always remember her comment to my inner struggle...she said:  "You have everything anyone would want to have.  Why do you want to sell your home?  Why aren't you satisfied with what you have?"  Wow....for a moment, I stepped into her world.  But only for a moment.  After, I could only respond:  "Esther, because I want more.  There is nothing wrong with wanting more, with wanting to move forward, with creating change to experience something better in my life." 
I don't settle and when I feel it's time to move on, I do....within my possibilities (and sometimes I push it).  I don't consider myself unstable....but I do feel change is part of life, and I am learning not to resist it.  Some people may consider this as being ungrateful or complaining...as my friend Esther.
I grew up in NYC, in the 60s, an era full of upheavel and change.  So, I'm restless.
While pursuing security and stability is ok, trying to create it outside in today's world seems a little shaky.  On my personal spiritual journey I am aware that Life Is Change. 
I believe it's ok to want more and desire something higher, challenging...isn't that what we are and what our experience confirms?  Constant Change?  Evolvement?

Peeling Off Layers of Self-Image

I've had a self image I've worked very hard to create and keep throughout my life.  It goes something like this:

• I'm a very serious woman
• Responsible
• Hardworking
• There for everyone that needs me
• Good and decent
• Super woman and just about perfect
• Great mom, abnegated daughter, committed friend
• Selfless
• Strong, sane

I've paid a price to maintain this image.......a lot of effort and detachment from who I really am!  Who am I really doing this for?
Can you imagine how much energy, enjoyment, true life experience I have missed out on because of trying to be who I thought I should be?  Do you know how much effort it takes to keep this "should" thing going all the way up to middle age?

One step at a time, one layer at a time, one relationship at a time, I am peeling off the false image, the "should" image, to let my true wants and desires come afloat to what life really is about.

Something inside me says "Aaaaaaagh, no more, please, Savina."  In each incident or relationship, I realize it's not about what the other one wants or expects of me....it's about who I really am.  What choices am I making that guide me on a path of honest self discovery?

I frightens me a bit, because having an image I can depend on to do what's "right" and "expected" feels safe.  Safe, yet numbing.  I say, I desire to live from a place of realness and allow myself to make mistakes (I make them any, it's part of my humanity), to learn from them, and to grow.  This is what my journey has been leading me towards.  Now, it's a brand new experience.  Some people in my life will judge me, and disapprove of some of my choices.  That scares me too.  But, that cannot be avoided. 

What might happen is as I am more authentic, I may inspire those around me to also release their images.

Moving Forward

If a client tells you they want to end the coaching relationship and move on to something else, what do you do?  How do feel about it?  What do you say to them?  Especially when you as their life coach feel this is not the best path for them to take?  That they are not ready?

I remind myself that coaching someone is about support, accountability, assisting and allowing the other to find their own answers, within themselves and not in me.   I need to be cautious and not express judgment or disappointment, because, then, maybe I'll be bringing my own agenda into the relationship. 
If as a life coach I've done my best, given my most, been there for my client, then I feel I've done a great job.  Everyone has their own journey and has the right to their own choices.  I believe life coaching is about empowerment, and listening to my client tell me they want to end the relationship, I would want to honestly wish them well and trust they are making the correct and best choice for their greatest good.  I will feel proud that in some way, I had something to do in their learning to make and trust their own choices.

A New Healing Experience

Life Coach Crystal Church writes about A New "Healing" Experience

Just yesterday I had my first appointment with a woman whom I am trading services with. I am acting as her personal development life coach and she is helping me through some old issue by doing a body healing exercise with me. It is really turning out to be an amazing experience for the both of us.

When I coached her yesterday I was able to give an outsider's perspective to the situation she is right in the middle of. Since I am not going through it, I was able to see clearly what I needed to guide her to look at to get the answers she has been searching for. The answers have always been inside of her, I was just able to tap into the triggers that would allow her to see the path to follow. It was very empowering for me. It validated everything I know about myself on a level that was above anything I have felt before. I felt as much joy in helping her, as she did in receiving my help. When I got off the call, I was energized and felt like I could accomplish anything........I mean anything. It was an amazing feeling that lasted the entire day. When I think of what this means, it brings a huge smile to my face. As my chosen path, my job, I will be feeling amazing after my work. How great is that? We spend so much of our life working, that to be able to blend pleasure and work together is the most brilliant thing ever. It brings new meaning to loving what you do as well as finding my special purpose.

The trade happened with us the same day, but later in the evening. It was perfect because my kids were (sort of) in bed and I had privacy. My healer explained the process fully and I was very comfortable with what was about to transpire. She let me know that since we were on the phone, and not face to face, that she would be taking on my body's feelings temporarily so she could intuitively feel what I my body was feeling  in response to the questions she would be asking. She did an invocation to start off that invited the divine and the other powers of the unknown to join us and help us with the healing journey. She placed a virtual shield of safety around both of us to keep us from harm during the session, and away we went.

Her voice was very soft and calming and she asked very specific questions about trapped emotions that my body was holding on to. As she asked the questions she was able to get messages from my body, that her body felt and then she could formulate the answer to the questions she asked. I laid in my bed, relaxed, and listened to what she way saying. I was truly amazed at how right on the answers to the specific questions she posed were. Let me give you an example. She asked if their was a trapped emotion of disgust in me, which there is, and she verified. We then spoke with each other interactively about what she saw and felt this disgust pertained to, and I replied about what I specifically knew the disgust pertained to. Between the both of us what we came up with made perfect sense to me, and after wards she did a ceremonial release of the emotion of disgust. She could feel it go out of her body, which was actually my body that she was temporarily in to feel my emotions, and I could also feel it. It was a tingling sensation in certain areas of my body, and upon talking about where we each felt it, they were exactly the same areas. Pretty unbelievable. The session was just short of an hour, and each time we released a trapped emotion, I felt something different inside of myself. I felt sort of clean and pure, and maybe a hint of what it felt like to be a brand new baby without any negative experiences in my soul.

I was pretty fatigued after the session was over, she explained what to expect in the next few days and let me know if  I needed to talk to her about anything I experienced, that I was free to call. Because your body is getting rid of emotion which is toxin, she suggested I drink plenty of water. Also, body work is physically and mentally draining, she also recommended I be very aware of my feelings and interactions with others and practice good self care.

I am very excited to watch this all unfold. We both have at least 3 more sessions with each other and I am confident this will be a life changing experience for the both of us. We both marveled in the fact that we found each other in the 'internet sea' and knew immediately it was meant to be. (a little unplanned poetry there!) It truly is no accident that we are able to help each other with our specific gifts and I am convinced this is the beginning of an amazing journey into my next phase of life as a coach. I am proud to be putting my God given talents to work in a way that benefits myself as well as my clients.

Personal Power, a post from You University creator, Maia Berens

Personal Power

Simple But Not Easy

Today I’m seeing my role as life coach very simply.  Show my clients their personal power. My job is to show my clients how to clear their path and their self view of all that says they are less than – less than deserving of material goods; less than deserving of the relationships they want with friends, family and significant other; less than deserving of anything they want.

Most of us seem to have picked up the message somewhere that it’s only OK to want a certain amount. So a certain amount is what we get. Additionally, it is hard for us humans to remember that we came here for a purpose. In its broadest sense we came here (here being Planet Earth) to learn some other things in addition to our worthiness, our own personal power. What we learn appears to be our own choice.

For example, a client I’m working with is working on letting go of guilt and responsibility around her adult children. We spoke today about how when we enable other adults, we might keep them from growing into the wonderful humans they are in the process of becoming. When we enable other adults and rescue them from themselves, they never get to see their own inner resources or personal power nor seek the support they may decide they need or even fail and learn and grow from that.

We also spoke about the agreements we appear to make on some spiritual level in which we act in certain ways for our children’s growth and they do the same for us. Therefore everyone is in agreement. No one is a victim.

I have no idea how I developed the gift of being able to teach, model, intuit all that I do with clients but it appears to be an ever-developing gift. It sure is fun to be able to see, speak and help those people who want to grow in awareness and expand their lives. I love watching the magic of transformation as it occurs.   I love holding the hand of those I work with and becoming part of their magnificent unfolding.  I love seeing those I help exercise their own personal power for their own growth and benefit.

Resistance

What is this thing we call resistance?  
I'm experiencing resistance in several areas of my life.  Such as, resistance:

• to taking the actions needed to move forward and grow my Life Coach practice; 
• to allowing myself to try out new things; 
• to exercising consistently and not eat sweets daily!

I know these actions are in my best interest, yet even though I know and get excited about them, I don't realize them.  I feel I let myself down and I feel awful.
Where does this resistance come from?  Why am I doing this?  I don't really know. Yet.  I do know it's there and I don't like it.  Should I resist resistance?  No.  I prefer to learn from it and find the answers to these questions...answers that are within me. I've been journaling and working with my life coach to arrive at a place of understanding and acceptance.
One good thing is I'm growing in self knowledge.  I now know I have resistance to the good that's for me. I was unaware of this.  I want to learn from it, as it has been a part of me...a learned response to something deeper that is beginning to surface (fear?).

You University Life Coach Crystal Shares About Grief

This post is a tribute to my Sadie

Grief is an emotion that is not only for the loss of a human life. It can about the loss of a relationship, a childhood, or in this case ..........my dog Sadie.

Grief is an emotion defined as:
1. Pain of mind on account of something in the past; mental suffering arising from any cause, as misfortune, loss of friends, misconduct of one's self or others, etc.; sorrow; sadness. [1913 Webster]

Grief has stages that are individual to each human and are not experienced in any specific order, but they are as follows:

1. SHOCK & DENIAL
2. PAIN & GUILT
3. ANGER & BARGAINING
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS
5. THE UPWARD TURN
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
as taken from  aboutgrief.com

I learned these past few days that there is no time line for when grief will hit you. If you don't deal with grief it will come out in some way. I lost my Grandmother a year ago, and the loss of my dog triggered some incredibly healing tears for me. I had not been able to cry up until this last loss.
  I learned that no matter what your conditioning as you were growing up, grief has to be expressed. It is a healthy response to loss. The human body needs to let go of trapped emotion or it can cause illness in many forms.
I miss my dog, but she is in a better place. She taught me many things about giving love and receiving it back as well. She has allowed me to grieve for other losses and understand the importance of being vulnerable. Thank you Sadie for the lessons in life you shared with me, and I will see you on the other side.........

What to Do if You Were Taught Not to Take Care of Yourself

Here's a great blog from my Life Coach, Maia Berens:

Selfish or Self-Care?

It seems when I was a child I was never taught about self care or to want things. Whenever I wanted something, I was accused of being selfish.  It didn’t matter if I was tired or just not wanting to do chores. I heard it so much and so often and didn’t want to think I was anything bad like that, I stopped taking care of myself in many different ways. If taking care of me was selfish , than taking care of and pleasing others was unselfish . And I’d much rather be unselfish. I suspect many people and maybe more women are taught this self-defeating, unloving attitude by other women – mostly their mothers who had learned the same thing in their early lives.

If you experienced something like that dynamic somewhere in your past, you might find it difficult to rest enough, difficult to eat well, difficult to take care of your body in other ways. You might find it difficult to take care of yourself in relationships. You might judge your emotions as unworthy of a good (unselfish) person. You might also find it difficult to have healthy boundaries and difficult to stand up for what you know is right.

How do I know all of this? I know it because I have lived it in one way or another. So what do you do if you see yourself in these words?

To read more........click here

More on Self Trust and Life Lessons

Learning to trust myself and being open to life's lessons seem to go hand in hand for me.
My form of exercise is power walking.  I've been doing it for 30+ years.  It's great for me because I do it outdoors.  I hear the birds, feel the breeze, get alot of sun and it energizes me along with staying healthy.  A few weeks ago I started jogging and running a little bit....and my left leg began to complain.  I didn't pay attention. 
Along with investing time and energy in building my life coaching practice, I also am looking for part time work.  I went to an interview with a recruiter (along the same time my leg was acting up).  They had a good full time/temp position supporting a VP in a global organization.  If you know anything about me, I have been doing Administrative support work all my life and I'm not too excited to continue with it.  I want change. Ok, I accepted to go to the interview the next day where the position was available.  I really didn't want to but it was the "should" thing to do.
Coming out of the recruiter's offices, guess what?  My leg snapped and I felt excruciating pain.  I had to hop to my car. After a visit to the ER, I was sent home to rest for a week, no exercising, and no walking for a few days.
Did I somehow create the leg injury on a subconscious level?  Could be.  I didn't go to the interview.  Lesson?  Well, whether it's logical or not, I pay more attention to what feels best to me, not what feels like a "should".  Trusting myself is one of the lessons from this experience.  I will write in a future blog about some other lessons I'm learning from this.

A New Healing Experience

Connecting with Crystal: A New Healing Experience

Self Trust

Learning to trust myself is a real challenge for me. Time and again I get that gut feeling, the warning, the nudge, and I invalidate this built-in guidance system and instead listen to what others around me think and feel is the right way to go.
At least I am realizing this. It used to be that when faced with a decision, small or significant, I couldn't make up my mind. I'd be filled with anxiety and confusion. Oh my God, what should I do? What if I choose wrong? What if I make a mistake? What if? What if?
Underneath that feeling of confusion was and is the inability to trust myself. Fear and self doubt are underneath these reactions. It has been a loooong journey to come to this realization.
Trust myself. That sounds so good. So wholly.
Three precise tools or systems, if you will, have helped me embrace this new way of interacting within myself (does that make sense, interacting within myself?).

• Human Design. This is a system of understanding your conditioning vs. your true and original design to help you get to know yourself better. More and more I am reminded from within what my true design is and it helps me to trust myself more.
• You University. The program is not just a reading through; it has tangible assignments and work that get you very much in touch with your core beliefs and allows you to surface and look at them and choose differently.
• My spiritual connection and relationship to God. Knowing I'm not alone and am loved unconditionally gives me a certain courage to love myself.

Trusting myself is a cornerstone in my coaching practice. I certainly need to trust my instincts when connecting and listening to a client. Doubt has no place when dealing with something so precious and important as a life.

http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/magic-secrets-movie

Taking Responsibility

I had a difference with someone I care for very much just this past week. When in a relationship, whether it's romantic, friendship, business, coworkers, it's hard for me to honestly take responsibility for my own creations. I tend to project onto another what I'm supposed to be doing or owning. I hide these parts of me from myself. Why is it so hard to be honest with myself? For whom do I want to keep face? What am I defending?
I find it takes really a lot of courage to look at myself and be just as I am. Sometimes it feels scary. My God, is it that I've been so ingrained to doubt myself and to believe I have to be a certain way (that's not who I really am) in order to be ok?
When I decide to look at what's going on inside me, even momentarily, I find I need to release those preconceived labels and images I have created about myself. Like what?

• I should be perfect and not make mistakes
• I need to be good and this behavior, if discovered or revealed, proves the contrary
• I will be left alone if I don't please this person
• I don't know how to express my feelings effectively so I will hide what I'm really feeling to avoid confrontations

Besides courage, it takes self awareness to even realize I'm on a default system with these beliefs. They come up automatically. As a Life Coach, am I supposed to be "perfect" and not be dealing with these issues anymore (another preconceived idea I've had that ties to perfection)? No. That is not my experience. I still have these challenges.
After talking it over, writing a love letter and acknowledging my lack of responsibility with my friend, we both feel so much better and connected again.
Lesson learned. And life goes on.

Willingness, Commitment, Courage,

Reviewing Bldg 3 in You University Life Coach training program a few days ago (going over an old assignment), it was refreshing to reread and reaffirm what it takes to walk the true path of inner transformation. I'd like to share these with you here:

• Willingness: First, I have to want to make the changes needed to create the life I want. I have to have self honesty that I need to make changes and to do the work. I cannot force this or do it grudgingly. It takes a voluntary willingness to move forward.
• Commitment: Commitment is central to your transformation. This commitment to yourself means that no matter what is occurring in your life,YOUR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION IS THE CORE VALUE YOU HOLD DEAREST. It is your reality and your salvation. This quote is from the referred Bldg.....I think it says it all. But I always need to add my own experience to what I blog here so it doesn't seem like I'm lecturing. There is something called Resistance that we all have within us. Change is uncomfortable....it's scary sometimes. So, it has been really necessary for me to remain focused on my commitment to myself to continue on my self growth and healing journey. I am important to myself. Now. No more putting it off. It's not enough to have willingness...to want...I want this, I want that, etc....we have to be committed.
• Courage: it does take courage to face yourself, to own those parts of you you've been burying inside for years. It takes courage to admit responsibility and to take charge of your life.
  

As the program states, all these qualities already exist in me, and in you. They are God-given...part of our human-spirituality.

Are you ready?

Making the Career Change

For many years I worked as an Administrative Assistant in the corporate world. I never stayed at any job for more than 2 years, except for one, where I remained for 5 years. It was a pharmaceutical regional office in Santo Domingo. I started as a Secretary and transitioned into the Human Resources Coordinator.
I was fortunate in my career. I always landed jobs in great companies and learned a lot over the years.
While the companies were good, stable, with great benefits and good working environment, the work itself was not satisfying. Most of the time, all during those years (30), I felt bored and unchallenged. But, the work was not too demanding and it was low stress. I was able to juggle work and kids.
As I matured in life, I felt I couldn't settle or compromise anymore, but this was what I knew how to do and the pay was good.
Still, I dreamed of working from my own home office. My perfect work would be: challenging, purposeful and satisfying, using my creative talents and abilities, making my own hours, being my own boss, and creating good income.
At my last job, again a pharmaceutical, I was the Exec. Adm. Assistant to five VPs in the Financial Department. I knew for sure this was not what I was going to be doing the rest of my working years. I just had to make a change. But what? How? I felt stuck!! I researched about changing careers, I prayed to God for guidance.
Well, that's when I decided to hire a life coach. Maia Berens patiently heard me out time and again, as I was complaining and wondering....yet she saw my potential to become a Life Coach and she would gently suggest it. As a matter of fact, so did many of my friends. I had been coaching already (at work and in spiritual communities) because it was a natural talent of mine to listen, motivate, and guide others.
After 3 years at the job, the company was sold to a larger pharmaceutical, and guess what? I got laid off last May. By this time, I was already in Life Coach training with Maia under the You University program (yes, I finally gave myself permission to go for what I wanted). I not only learned tools to coach others but I have experienced a real transformation in my inner life through the program.
Did I create this new reality in my life? I certainly believe so. They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I wanted a change in my life and I took steps to make it happen.
Every life is unique. This is my journey. Right now? I'm coaching as a You University Life Coach and I love what I'm doing. My life situation at this time has allowed me to make this career change. I'm excited and I affirm each day that this is the path I am choosing to travel.

We Each Have Our Unique Path

We all have our own unique pace and we learn at our own speed. It's never a good practice or idea to force anything either on ourselves or on other people.
As a Life Coach, I'm learning that one of my main tools with my clients is patience. But not just with clients, also with the people in my life in general.
I need patience to allow others to travel on their own journey; to become aware when they become aware. That's how it happened for me, too. And I am grateful to my own coach, Maia, for being patient with me and believing in me.
I have a very good friend named Jessica. She's been in a really strained financial situation, like, for years now. She's a Christian, a believer in God and a knower of the Bible. So, she has faith, she has foundation, she's also very intelligent and has a BA in Marketing.
Yet, Jessica's been without work for more than a year; she has no children, she's single, and she has family and knows a lot of people. We don't see each other much, because we live in different countries, but the friendship is strong and ongoing.
Many times, knowing how she struggles, I ask God "why?" Here's a decent, smart, wise, faithful being. What's going on here?
Even though we're friends, good ones, she doesn't share what's going on inside of her. Jessica doesn't open up very easily, if at all. I let her know I'm here for her, and I offer my support....yet, I realize that when she's ready to recognize her needs and has the willingness to look within and work at unearthing and discovering what's been blocking her for so long, she'll do it.
Again, I repeat what I said at the beginning, I cannot force Jessica to open up until she herself is ready. I cannot judge ever what her lessons are in life. It's unwise of me to see her as a victim. She is God's creation, a unique one, with her own gifts, talents and abilities to blossom in her life. I am here for her and patiently offer my support.

I Love Being My Age

I love being my age, 55. While many people in general hide their age as they advance in life, I feel proud of it. I can say that I feel my best right here and now.
I'm not boasting nor trying to sound totally fulfilled. I realize there are many aspects of life that I still need to learn about, and parts of me that I need to embrace and accept.
Yet, I have this feeling of wholeness and serenity never experienced before.
This state did not come on its own, nor was it achieved without a price. Every single experience I've had in my life has taught me something of value. What I called a struggle or labeled as bad at the moment, I now look back and can see its value in guiding me to where I am at now.
My life is not perfect. Perfection is a concept invented by the ego to create struggle and illusion. We are all "perfect" in our uniqueness. My life is just as it needs to be and from it I choose to see myself.
While others may feel they are aging and sagging in certain areas, I choose to focus on all I've lived, and how to use these lessons to live better this second half of my life. Yes, I'm sagging too, yes, my body is slowing down, yet even this reality is for my benefit....for as I slow down, I can notice and relish the now. I'm not in a rush anymore to get anywhere. I'm learning to release that stress and struggle and rush, and instead I go with the flow of my bodily movements and smell the flowers, watch the clouds stream by, learn from my father and my children and my friends. I listen now to my soul for guidance and to reveal to me what it is that I enjoy.
I'm rich and wealthy and am here to share this with all of you.

Journaling and It's Benefits

For many years I've had the intention to journal daily. Just like other good habits, it took me many times of starting to journal, stopping journaling, because I forgot or it was a hassle, or I just wasn't in the mood.

I tried buying really nice notebooks, I even got one as a present from one of my bosses. Nope....first few pages were written on, and then nothing.

But now, it's not like that anymore. I've learned the habit of journaling...and what a great experience it is.

It helps me focus, I feel I have a friend in my journal. I can write anything I'm feeling, really feeling, and it's ok. Journaling has become a very significant tool I use to get in touch with my core feelings.

You know how you sometimes are feeling something "ugly" or that you've been taught you "shouldn't feel"? Yes, I know you know what I mean. Well, your journal can take it. What a relief to let it out with no judgments or condemnations. You realize it's ok, that's just you.

I'm experiencing another wonderful journaling experience now...and that's journaling on line...it's like the gourmet of journaling!!! I belong to this wonderful community. Its members are from all over the world: US, Asia, Australia, Africa....wow, all continents. Here, I feel safe to take a step further in my journaling, and that is to share my experiences and feelings with like-minded people. Like minded because we're all focused on self development and Truth. Here too I find nurturing and no judgment. It feels safe, and I receive so much positive feedback and encouragement....likewise, I have the honor to read others' life experiences, learn from them and also comment, sharing whatever inspiring wisdom I may receive to assist them on their journey.

Journaling now has become a part of my life, more than a habit...it's natural to me.

What Inspires Me?

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A few days ago I was interviewed by Toni Reece for an online project, The Get Inspired Project.

One of the questions asked was, what inspires me? So, I’d like to share my answer here.

I find inspiration through my walks in Nature; there I find peace in its surroundings, sounds and scents.

I find inspiration in my time of silence in God’s presence. I open my heart to Him and allow my spirit to be nourished and renewed.

I’m inspired by the women I choose as friends and allow into my inner circle. Briefly, I want to mention four of these women….they are ever present even though they reside at thousands of miles away. We are connected by something stronger than physical closeness.

These women are Maia Berens, Crystal Church, Adrienne Johnson and Heather Williams. They are my friends, business partners in You University and also my support system.

Each of these women has experienced their share of hardship in their lives. Divorce, abuse, abandonment, addiction, and each has overcome these struggles. Today they are women who serve others to overcome their own blocks. Today, they are strong, courageous, inspiring, wise women. They once made a choice…..the choice to heal, to grow, to release, and to forgive.

They inspire me to be the very best Me I can be. Being in their company awakens all sorts of inspiring ideas and desires to make the world a better place. We share each others present joys and difficulties. We nurture and motivate each other to continue on.

They inspire me.

The Gratitude Game

Going through You University, there's a very fun and interesting exercise called THE GRATITUDE GAME.
It's really not something new nor rocket science. I've heard of something similar to this before and I've actually done it with a friend, one of my children some time in the past. I can't remember when was the last time. And, that's precisely the problem. I don't practice this often in my relationships and that's where the You University assignment comes in handy: it's a reminder.
This exercise is a way to PRACTICE LOVE.
So, as my mind shifts day to day from feeling frustrated and victimized to grateful, at peace and more appreciative, I got inspired to buy my father (92 years old) a thank-you card. I wrote a list of all the things I'm grateful for that he does and is. I left the card in its envelope set at a place where I knew he'd find it while I went out.
When I came back later that evening, my dad didn't say anything...neither did I. On my bed I found a sweet little white envelope and inside was a handwritten note from my father. This is what he said:

Dear Savi: Thank you for your card. What you say in it touches me deeply. I want you to know that all I want is for you to be happy. I will help you all I can. You can be sure that all I do I do it with love. Thank you, dear Daughter, for helping me the way you're doing. It is greatly appreciated and I will never forget it. With love, your father, Savino

I can only guess, but I'm pretty certain my father felt love when he read my card. I felt his love when I read his note. These practices break down barriers we build around us. My father and I grow closer and more appreciative of each other with these practices. They seem like a game, but they work. Isn't that what we all want? To be loved? I'm learning to give it out, with little actions such as these....yet, they reach straight into the heart.

I have been reminded of who I am

I have been reminded of who I am

Adrienne Summer: Mother Teresa 100 Years Old

Adrienne Summer: Mother Teresa 100 Years Old

Perceiving Life as a School

During one of my recent coaching sessions, I asked my client (which I'll call Jacob) for his perception of life.
Jacob's response was: life seems meaningless, a cycle of repetitive events. You're born, you grow up, go to school, get a career, you work all your life, get married, have kids, make money to give your family a better life, you grow old and you die. What's the point, he asks?
Yet, Jacob is a believer in God. He prays each day and is grateful for his blessings. So, what's happening here?
Oh, did he remind me of my own way of experiencing life until a few years ago.
I remember in my younger years, even though I believed in God, God felt very separate from me, very far away, very unfair, very responsible for all that was happening to me and in the world in general. I felt I had no say in what was happening TO me.
Until I had a spiritual awakening. I was searching for something more, for meaning. I was at a place similar to where Jacob is right now.
As I've walked my own path through the years, I've learned and experienced that God has been within me all along. I have stopped blaming God for all that happens.
There's a very deep and healing exercise in You University that has been key in changing my perception. This is Magic Secret # 1. Life is a school. The effectiveness of this exercise is it took me to my past, all of my life, and assisted me in finding a lesson in each life situation. This is not a lite, superficial exercise. It's more of a self-discovery one. There was a shift in my awareness of my life. That aha moment Oprah talks about, you know. The deep questions I was to ask myself: What did each event teach me? How did I grow from them? How was it important in my overall journey?
When I listened to Jacob's perception of life, I knew then and there that one of my goals as his life coach is to point him in that direction of looking for what he's learned in each situation and how it has helped to form who he is today. This knowledge will empower him to realize he is not a victim, but a creator of his own life.
Life coaching is a purposeful and growth-provoking vocation. I heal as I teach others to heal.

Having Emotional Wellness

Having Emotional Wellness

Tools for Releasing Worry

My mood is very affected by my thoughts and beliefs. Worry is a bad habit I've had all my life. I inherited it, from my parents, the news, coworkers, etc.
I know now these thought patterns led me right into anxiety, panic attacks, and then depression.
Today, it's a different story. A shift happened within me. I learned that worry is about control and control is about fear. What I was most afraid of, what caused me the most anxiety, you know what it was? Myself. I have been afraid of trusting myself. If I can't trust myself, which is where I AM, then I live in constant fear. I would search outside myself for validation and security, and I wanted others to tell me what I should do. I had such a hard time making decisions for myself.
Worry is a hard habit to break. The shift has been a process. First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am.
Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against.
Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?
This shift did not happen automatically, nor on its own. I was willing to do the work. No more excuses. I wanted once and for all to feel alive and be Me. I did the work, and am still going strong at it. This is a moment to moment event. Life. It's always changing, I'm always learning, and this results in my growth and expansion.
There is no one thing that got me to this place. A combination of life tools I've learned and applied. These have been the most life changing:
--My relationship with God
--Religion (the Bible) then spirituality (A Course in Miracles, Zen, Reiki), yes, there's a difference
--Many, many, many self-help books and using the tools in them
--Prayer, affirmations, meditation
--Ongoing exercise
--Journaling
--Very good friends, the kind that support you and love you for who you are, and tell you the frieking truth (I have a few of these, plus my coaching support group)
--A life coach, one that is committed to your growth and is honest and that I relate to. I cannot relate to someone who just sits and listens. I need relationship. I need to know that the coach has been there, done that. For me this is important.
--I did and am doing the healing work. I have taken the challenge to resolve my past issues and move forward. (You University Program)
As a result of the above, a shift in perception has resulted. I see everything as an opportunity to learn about myself. I realize I'm not a victim. I've always had the power to choose. I am responsible.
It feels soooo good.

What You University Represents to Me

You University Life Coach Training Program. It’s a self-development and coach training program created by Maia Berens, my life coach for the past 3 years.

I met her on the web while searching for info on life coaching. I wanted to hire a life coach and at the same time become one. I was so confused with so many certification schools, and different costs….it was a bit overwhelming.

I found and read Maia’s site. It was as if she and I were having a friendly yet deep conversation. Do you call that connection? I guess. I felt I had to contact this lady. Well, we connected by email, by phone, and I hired her as my coach.

I’ve grown to love, respect, admire and trust Maia. Just a few months ago I took on the challenge to become a life coach. I trained with Maia using her You University program. This is much more than a training course to acquire a certification. It’s a school. It’s a healing and self discovery tool. I can say many things about it.

To realize that this material is Maia’s life experience poured into words and assignments and anecdotes and teachings is awing. There is so much wisdom and care and yes, love, in each section of the program. It’s an in- depth and healing material. It gently guides you to work through your deepest wounds and feelings, healing guilt, shame, and resentment, all the time supported by Maia and her intuitive mentoring. I truly feel transformed. I’m not exaggerating nor trying to promote here. I’m sharing a truly transforming experience for me.

Today I am a You University Life Coach ready to guide others through this transformational journey of their own.

Connecting With Those We Serve

A few days ago I took my dad (you probably already know he's 92 from my other post) to the podiatrist for his regular foot hygiene check up, you know, grooming his toe nails, and so forth. When my father's turn came, he was escorted to one of the many rooms in the office by an assistant...I went with him. She didn't say much to him, just prepared his feet, cut his toe nails and left.
After a short waiting period, the doctor came in, didn't even look at my father in the face, didn't say hello, just cut to the chase, I mean to the feet, to work on his callus. There was no connection, no conversation, nothing. The doctor didn't say a word to me either. He came in, did his stuff, and left.
What's up with that? I sat there observing the whole scenario a bit surprised, I must say. I made a note right there to blog about this.
Is this what this guy went who knows how many years to college for? To treat people like they're invisible? Maybe he was having a rough day, I don't know. But the impression and feeling I got from him was not a good one. This is a doctor I would not go back to.
I think people who deal with people as a profession definitely need people skills. Right? This doctor maybe needs a life coach to help him get in touch with his inner child, or uncover his true feelings so he learns to relate and connect with those he chose to serve.

Willingness

Willingness

Lessons from my Aging Father

There's a lesson to be learned in every experience.

I've been living with my father for the past 4 years. He's 92 right now. My mom passed away just 2 months after I came to Miami to recuperate from a separation (and later divorce).

It was really hard for me because first, after losing my mom, he went into a very deep depression. He stopped watching tv and no radio. All his relatives of his generation have passed away.

My dad has 3 big dogs, which he loves and lets them do whatever they want around the house. Here I was, wanting to care for my dad while he was concentrated on his three kids, I mean dogs. There was no way I could keep a loop on the house, keeping it clean and good smelling. He is an organized man, so, he keeps things in place, but please, 3 dogs 24/7 in the house?

I became resentful and angry towards him. I felt he cared more for those dogs than he did for me. I'd complain all the time to anybody who would listen.

As time went by, well, I'm still here. When push comes to shove, he is my father....he's been a good one at that. This time together has helped me know him and myself better and understand aspects of aging that I never knew before.

My Dad has taught me:

• You slow down with age. I watch him sometimes and he pitter patters around the house, doesn't walk briskly anymore like he used to. Slowing down means he observes more what's in front of him. He absorbs life more, there is no more "future"....it's all about today. That's all he has at this stage in life. LIVE IN THE NOW.
  

• Another lesson.....at this end stage, you must learn to release control and trust God and those around you. It can be scary, but it's a relief also....and God's wise way of preparing us for departure. RELEASE AND TRUST.
  

• Keep things in their place and don't move them around. One needs a certain security and familiarity with their surroundings. Your senses are weak and dull by this time. You need to get around knowing where everything is. FAMILIARITY.
  

• After caring for someone for so long (my mother), he needs these dogs to feel needed and useful. They give him purpose and they don't argue back. They just love him. PURPOSE.
  

• Don't make him feel disabled or useless. I don't try to help him when he still can do things for himself. CAPABLE AND USEFUL.
  

I honestly am trying to put myself in my father's place, but I've never experienced his level of loneliness and disability. I am understanding God's loving purpose for this experience. For both of us. We have grown closer and I am more compassionate towards him.

I Embrace Life

-->This morning I wake up and embrace Life. I know God is always with me.
I am a great Life Coach.
I have abundance of all good.
My coaching practice flourishes and overflows.
Our coaching practice flourishes and overflows.
We are a strong, loving, energetic, positive force in the world
We are healing and as we heal, we heal those around us.
I know what to say, when to say it because I am guided.
In our group, we complement each other because our talents and skills are so vast when joined together. The sum of the all is greater that is separate parts.
People with the financial capacity and willingness to commit are coming into our program.
We have, each of us, as individuals and also as a group, an infinite flow of clients being coached, helped, healed, trained. Our organization is growing. It is organized. Our vision remains.
And so it is!!

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The Universe is Always Communicating

More and more I notice how alive and personal the Universe is. It communicates with me, if I'm aware and paying attention.

This morning as I was getting my coffee in the kitchen I was meditating on my situation. Is it time to job hunt? This "voice" inside me is an old voice, it's the voice of logic, of security, and yes, maybe reality.

As I played with this thought, I saw the Miami Herald headline for today: Florida Sees Independent on the Rise.....when I read that, I "felt" in my gut that this message was for me and a response to that logical question. I can't prove it, I just felt it.

In order to be open to these "messages", I must quiet the "logical" voice within me and listen more with my spiritual self AND TRUST IT. There is peace when I abide by the Spirit. I don't feel fear or anxiety....but, I maintain a balance between the two voices...not shut either of them out. There is a certain logic to the "logic" voice.

So, today, I continue focusing on moving forward with my purposeful goal:

• create great income working from home
• I am my own boss, independent
  
• I am a successful You University Life Coach
  
• I am part of an organization that exists to help people and better the world, You University
  
• I work with like-minded people
• I grow and learn new skills and have new experiences

I understand this is my answer today to this morning's question.

Thank you God!

Crystal Church Talks about You University Coach Training Program.

Self Acceptance

My love has always been tainted with guilt, shame and low self esteem. I've heard for ever that in order to love others, I first need to love and accept myself. I almost seems like a cliche.
We live in a shame-based society. I was compared to better grade students @ school. At home my brother was a better son than I was a daughter, and my mom was not shy to frequently repeat this to me. That was her perception, but I believed it. Advertisements were constantly telling me I should be this tall, that skinny, this type of hair, and so forth. Too much stress. How can I meet up to all these illusory standards?
I didn't grow thinking I was ok just as I was. My parents didn't feel that way about themselves either, so they had no way to provide me with acceptance and unconditional love. I learned I was defected and that love had to be earned. That was the message.
This is what I brought to my relationships throughout my life. I was ashamed of who I was, so I created a false self. I tried so hard to be the best I could be.
Of course I've had intimacy issues for fear of revealing my true self, which I believed was insufficient.
There's a good side to this story. Actually, it's all good, because it's all served as a growth process.
Along the way, I've met some wonderful people. I have really good friends that have mirrored back to me love and acceptance. I've developed a deep love relationship with God as my Creator based on trust and surrender through my spiritual studies. Today I belong to a caring and open journaling community where I can share my feelings freely without fear of condemnation. I interact with other like minded people.
I've also taken up a coach training program called You University. It's a coach training program but also a self-development program. The tools in this program have really turned my life around....my inner life. This change is affecting my outer life too. I am finally learning self love and self acceptance.

Know me Better

Helping, motivating and teaching are natural to me. Even as a little girl, I’d play with my dolls sitting them as my audience and I in front teaching them (something). Psychology was the profession of my dreams; but I chose business and have worked as an Administrative Professional in the corporate world for more than 25 years.

I have been successful in my own terms as an Admin. This career has permitted me to use many of my talents and gifts as support staff. I’ve created opportunities during my work experience to act as a Human Resources Coordinator, a supervisor for a Sales staff in a pharmaceutical, an office manager for an immunologist. I thank many of my supervisors who saw my potential and gave me the opportunity. I did not disappoint them, or myself. Always, the desire to support, to help to motivate was webbed into every task, every responsibility I was met with.

I was born and grew up in NYC during the 1960s and 70s. I would not change this for the world. But, by the time I was 18 and fresh out of high school, my parents and I moved to Dominican Republic. They wanted to be close to their family. This change was painfully difficult for me to adapt to. It was almost like being born into a whole new environment and culture.

I’ve had my own issues with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, which were a motivator for me to read hundreds of books and material on human behavior and self help. I was always learning new and better tools to cope with my own negative habits and fears which I learned in my family of origin. Suffice to say my childhood was difficult and traumatic.

I got married to a macho Dominican (didn’t want to see the red flags). The difference in our ways of seeing a woman’s role clashed. I was full of insecurities and fears and became codependent to my husband, trying to fit into that culture. He turned into an abuser, and I let him. I exposed my children to a traumatic childhood, just as I had experienced….even though I swore I wanted the best for them.

Being a full time working mother of three and married to an abusive husband only intensified my fears and I desperately needed to find inner peace and outer stability. I then found religion which filled my life with certain peace and a closer relationship to God. As the years went by, I have progressed to a broader understanding of God and myself through the study and practice of spirituality.

After my children became adults, I took the courageous step of divorcing my second husband and moved back to the US to start a new life. I continued on my healing path, away from abuse and self loathing. I’ve had many wonderful teachers and angels along the way. But when I finally met Maia Berens, we immediately connected and she’s been vital to helping me discover my own truth within myself. Through her expert coaching and wise support, I understood this is THE time for me to follow my dream.

Even though I have been using my coaching talents most of my life, training with Maia through You University has provided me with tools that allow me to experience life from a place of empowerment vs. victimhood.

It all falls into place now. My experience in the School of Life coupled with the You University training and inner healing tools, has empowered me to grow and share these lessons with others, helping them find the strength and truth within themselves.